Five Films I Wish I Hadn't Seen...

A friend of mine is currently doing a blog challenge where she posts on a certain topic everyday. The other day, the topic was top movies you'd watch over and over or, for a negative spin, movies you wished you never saw. My friend did the positive side (you can read her post here). I, however, feel it is my duty as a film blogger to help all of you avoid terrible movies. In the interest of time, I will limit myself to five, however if you guys enjoy this type of post, let me know, and I'll try to do more at other times.

Step Up

I liked it better the first time, when it was called Dirty Dancing, and the second time, when it was called Save the Last Dance, and really, I could probably come up with several other dancing films in which two people fall in love and the relationship is forbidden. Any time I bash this movie, someone will defend it because the dancing was good. Fine, you're right, the dancing WAS good. But when I watch a film, I want to fall in love with the writing, the acting, the direction, and the originality of it, none of which were on par with anything that you can even call decent. One day I'm certain that everyone will get over Channing Tatum...he just needs to get ugly.

S. Darko

I'm certain that a lot of this list will contain remakes or sequels because they generally suck (fairly soon, I will be posting about how to make a good remake, because despite being rare, they do exist). For anyone who has seen Donnie Darko, you know that the film is incredibly interesting, well-written, well-directed, and well-acted. If you decide to pick up S. Darko, you should expect absolutely none of that. It was not written nor directed by the same man as the first and the only character that is in both is Samantha. I think the writers of this just decided to try and make the movie equally as confusing as Donnie Darko, except instead of putting effort into it and keeping you intrigued, you just give up and decide that this movie is a piece of crap...and it is.

Bring it On: All or Nothing

I debated whether or not I should list this one. After all, stating that I wish I hadn't seen this movie also states that I have seen this movie. I have actually seen the first three Bring it On movies. The second one I watched at a slumber party in high school and the third I watched with a group of friends, also in high school. Hopefully this excuses the fact that I've seen three of them. Anyway, while I'm not a fan of the first even, I can see how it's possible teenagers would enjoy it. After all, I did once. But beyond the first, I find nothing of value in any of these ridiculous films. It's the same concept repeated over and over and over again, but with new and exciting teen speak that makes me feel as though most people consider my generation as a bunch of ditzy idiots...we're not...and I never spoke like that, not even in high school.

August Rush

If you read that title and wanted to mention how great the music is, then you must have skipped over my comments on Step Up. The first thing I said after leaving the theater back in the fall of 2007 was, "I think these writers went on strike early." First of all, a guy in a band has a one-night stand with a violin player and falls in love with her? There is no dialogue between them that seems at all special or meaningful, and a guy who plays in a band has got to have A LOT of one-night stands, so we really needed that dialogue to tell us why she's so meaningful. But then, when he becomes so depressed that he never saw her again, he quits his band? Everyone who's ever written music knows that the best songs come out of tragedy. No actual musician would quit playing music because they're upset over losing a girl...if anything, they would play more. And do I really need to mention the dialogue again? Plus, Robin Williams as a character out of Oliver Twist? Seriously, this movie was terrible and needs help, especially since the cast list was decent.

Nicholas Cage Movie: City of Angels

If this does become a regular fixture on Firestones on Film, I thought it would be fun to complain about Nicholas Cage. For those of you who don't know, Nicholas Cage is by far my least favorite actor. Irony of all ironies, he is also the reason my favorite actor (Johnny Depp) is in acting, since he suggested the career path to him. He really only ever does one thing, and I hate that one thing that he does. Even in films that I otherwise enjoy, he makes my skin crawl and I want to punch him in the face. By far the worst of his I've seen is City of Angels. What is this movie even really about anyway? An angel has sex with a human? Isn't that wrong...like a heavenly version of beastiality or something? Also, are we really supposed to read that Heaven isn't as good as Meg Ryan? If so, that will be a sad, sad eternity...(nothing against Meg Ryan. Obviously I enjoy her, since I wrote about how awesome When Harry Met Sally... is. However, I would hope that Heaven is more enjoyable than sex with Meg Ryan.)